No no no, I'm not ready to write anything yet. First I have to go buy a new phone and grill a sandwich. But really, when I write something here, it's going to be funny and clever and entirely unique. No, really. Really!
In other words, don't write to me yet. Don't write just based on the photo. I'm a lot grubbier than the photo. Grubby guys, on the other hand, can write right now. Guys who keep bees can write right now. Guys who want to bicycle across the country can write right now, unless they're biking, in which case, please pull off the road and write. It's dangerous to text and bike.