If he's excited, why doesn't he want sex?

by **PaceH330** » Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:44 am

Is there any reason why a guy who is erect and lying in bed with a female he's been dating for 6 weeks, wouldn't want to have sex?Bearing in mind, he has flirted with her for months, and has told everyone he thinks she's hot and has an erection so MUST be excited?Other than being latently gay, are there any other reasons anyone can think of for his reluctance to have sex? He's joked about only lasting about a minute in bed, which may be it, but other than premature ejaculation, what could it be?He seemed awkward about it and I don't understand why. I know he barely had sex in his last two relationships (which took up about a year in total) but prior to this he's had one night stands, and a four year relationship - which must(??!) have involved sex!Any thoughts??!He blamed his ex for being too passive in bed - but I now think this is an excuse, as I wasn't passive...

by **PerezA285** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 7:56 am

If a girl doesn't want sex, it's deemed as her choice and perfectly okay, but if a guy doesn't want sex he must be gay? How is that not a complete double standard?Maybe he wants to take it slow. Maybe he just isn't ready for that with you. Maybe he didn't FEEL like it. Talk to *him* about it, not us.

by **WeissC725** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:08 am

all I can say is WAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!!='D damn dat was gud

by **SLuther** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:20 am

performance anxiety is a valid reason...being compared to other guys also...if you want sex, tie him down and use him... ;)

by **LJuanita694** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:32 am

Stress could be a big factor - insecurity as well.You might intimidate him. He may care about you and not want to disappoint!He may want to know you better or he has bad experience from rushing into sex in the past.He may have some religious reasons to postpone sex.It could very well be performance issues at hand. Just because the soldier can stand doesn't mean he wants to march in the parade!Arousal and consciously wanting to have sex are two different things.

by **OrrA46** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:44 pm

First, your friend needs to find a few things out about Mr. No Sex Erection.1.) Does he hold to religious/moral beliefs that forbid premarital sex?2.) Does he have an STD?3.) Is he shy about his performance?4.) Does he have any psychological hangups about sex?5.) Is he a virgin?To receive an answer to any of these questions (it sounds to me like number three, honestly), your friend must ensure him that she will not judge him nor look at him as less of a person for any honest answer he gives.And there you have it. Ensure him, ask him, and when you find out what the problem is, talk about it. Open communication leads to solutions, as cliche and trite as it may sound.If you follow this advice, however, and he still won't open up and just tell your friend what the hell the problem is, then your friend needs to ask herself whether or not she wants to put up with him or find someone who will, in fact, have sex with her. Or at least be honest about it.