How do I not push him away?

[SMaria528]

My boyfriend and I were dating for 8 months and we ended up moving in together pretty shortly after getting together. We had a lot of money problems and with that we were also having communication problems. We were raised somewhat differently but I think we have most of the same values. For the first time I found someone who wants to have kids, go to church and wants a family life. We both were immature though and I think I was the most. I think he does have anger issues that he needs to deal with and hopefully he will get those worked out. I have dependency issues and needing to not get in peoples faces and also to appreciate him him. Anyways a week ago our conversatoin on the phone got bad and he ended up telling me he didn't feel things would work out and I was so upset. Well a week went by and I called him yesterday and we talked for about 2 hours. It was a while. We weren't going to talk that long but he was willing to stay on the phone while we both talked about things that happened in our relationship. I feel we are still in a relationship because he hasn't said it was over.. even though that night on the phone he said it was.. because I was feeling like he was being negative and told him I didn't want him to be in this if he didn't have his heart in it. Now he is agreeing on going to a priest or a church to get counseling... he said it didn't have to be just couples counseling but spiritual. I guess the spiritual could help our relationship. I guess he feels our relationship is in a stands still. See he was all confused about his feelings when we got in the huge fight 2 weeks ago when all this happened. I mean we got in the huge fight that I started and he told he didn't know how he felt and needed some time alone. I really love him a lot and want to tell him but I don't want to push him. I mean he agreed to hang out on sunday with me. I asked him ifh e wanted to hang out and do something fun and he said yes. I know he still cares because there are these two guys who live next door and they tried to take advantage of me a year ago and when I told him about this he was so upset.. I mean I told him about this when we first started dating and he was so angry and he got so jealous, and felt so violent. not towards me but them. Well they just got back from jail( I know very sad) and are living next door to me again. Well he said he didn't want me to get hurt and also wanted me to tell him again what happened back then because he remembered most of it but he said he needed to know because it would bother him if he didn't. I told him and I know it bothered him. I just feel inside he cares.. or I would not still be trying. I guess all hte fights made him confused about us tho. He felt like we were in different times in our lives I guess and he also has trouble dealing with the fact that I may always be on anti depressants.. he isn't used to that. Gosh I miss him very much and hope things will work out. any pointers? I mean I thought I lost him for good a week ago when I hung up on him after he said we wouldn't work.. and now he is talking to me about our relationship again. The only thing that bothers me is we have this engagement ring issue. I know this sounds stupid and won't make sense but I put it in my name when he got it for me because he had bad credit. Well when we talked last night he told me if he had the ring he would still make payments.. but he wanted to have the ring. That was before we actually started talking for a long time about our relationship and what had been going on. cuz he was being open with me. I know I don't want him to have the ring because if something happens to it, I am out 3,000 dollars.. but he did promise at the time to pay for it. My parents are really stressed and I need to talk to him (my boyfriend or ex.. whatever you call him right now). So how do I talk to him about this without ruining things?Also any ideas on fun things to do that are casual but good for two people are are trying to make good with each other??? lolthanks!!! any input would be appreciated.

[StricklandM239]

ooh...lala...Shorten your life story so that it doesn't take so much time to read. Just get to your point in a paragraph in 250 words or less. PLEASE!

[JHolly]

I think that going to get counseling at Church would be a great idea, a great place to start. Whats happened to your relationship is quite common when two people have been together for a long time. Its normal for things to be harder. I firmly believe that any two people can be together forever if they are only willing to work things out and commit, and that no matter how perfect two people might be for eachother, there will always be problems and things wont always be easy. One mistake you made was moving in together.. statistics prove without a doubt that cohabitation is harmful to relationships. If doubles your chances of getting a divorce if you do ever end up marrying. It sounds like you guys are too wrapped up in eachothers lives without being married, and that causes problems like the ring thing. Also, I think you guys need some space, besides getting counseling together, space is a good thing because it helps you stop taking eachother for granted and will help spark some passion back into your lives in the time you do spend together. the things you do together.. seeing movies, going on a picnic or fishing, out to eat, to an amusement park.. it doesnt really matter what they are, but I just recommend that you dont live together until your married and that you try to spend some time apart so you can appreciate eachother better. thats all the input I can think of.. good luck!