Should I tell her how I feel? (long, bear with me)?

Advice on Dating and Love - Or Anything Else, but mostly dating and love.

Should I tell her how I feel? (long, bear with me)?

Postby MJustine » Tue May 05, 2009 12:11 am

You seem to be a very serious young man. You obviously know her quite well. It would seem only natural that you could invite her to go with you to some event or on a picnic or something. I don't see why that would offend her. If she doesn't say yes the first time, try again.Perhaps the fact that your Mothers are friends and you go to the same church had made her view you as a family friend and not as a boyfriend, but that could change. Try and relax and enjoy the time you spend together whether it is an official date or not.
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Should I tell her how I feel? (long, bear with me)?

Postby HamiltonP944 » Wed May 06, 2009 4:20 am

wow...that is long. Talking to her is your only choice if you really want to pursue a relatioship with her. She won't know if you don't tell her. Yes you do face the chance of rejection, but there's also that chance of acceptance. You guys are friends and every great relationship begins with a friendship. That means you should be able to talk to each other about it. Good luck. I hope everything works out for the best for you.
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Should I tell her how I feel? (long, bear with me)?

Postby McclureJ » Thu May 07, 2009 8:30 am

You know, meeting guys like you those days is quite rare. I just love those values of yours!Anyway, back to your problem.Worries number 2 and 3 are entailed by your paranoia, by your fear. You are trying to find reasons and arguments that will convince you not to go for it, because you are afraid not to make it work. So, in my opinion, your real worry, is number 1. Does she like you? Does she share the same feelings? Now those are questions that will resolve all your worries..To find out, there's only one way: be straightforward. Tell her everything you feel. I know it's risky, I know it's difficult. But it's the only way to find out. She has never dated someone before, so a rumor concerning her and her love life will surely annoy her. That doesn't mean that in reality she will reject you and that she doesn't yearn for being with you. Communication is the best solution for all our problems and worries.If you really love her, if you really want to be with her, just tell her.And then, there will be two possibilities:- she'll tell you that she has the same feelings- she'll make you understand that for her you are a great friend, and that she'll always love you in that friendly way.In both cases, your friendship won't be altered. So you have nothing to be scared of. If she tells you that she loves you as a friend, then, you'll overcome that reality, and you'll someday meet another girl who corresponds to you. You're friends since Kindergarten!! She just won't let you down, in both cases.I really think you should be honest to her. Tell her everything. This is the only way you'll be able to find out what are her feelings towards you. And then, start thinking about how to succeed and how to build a family.First is first: talk to her.Good luck!
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Should I tell her how I feel? (long, bear with me)?

Postby ComptonS » Fri May 08, 2009 12:39 pm

Dude, you are a sweetheart of a man!!! Where the hell are all these men like you? Since you gave a pretty detailed explanation of what is your problem, I going to be fairly long also. To be honest, I think that she may not like you the way you like her. If she would like you, she wouldn't have gotten annoyed by those rumors. She probably feels that you may be something in her life but not to the extent of marrying you. And she did say that it would be weird if you two were to date. Do you know what that means? It means that she considers you as a brother and not as a boyfriend.Another thing, these worries that you will not be good enough to be a married man is not true. I tend to judge people by what they write and it seems to me that you are quite a lovely man. The way you elaborate in your question shows that you are very straightforward in things and you have goals. Any woman would love to marry you! (Hell, I would! Just kidding!) You know what you want and believe me, any woman would love that. (My father was an @sshole and abandoned us and so he never supported us financially or anything for that matter). So believe me this is definitely a plus for you! :)You are only 18 and there may be a perfect woman out there even if this girl is not meant for you! You are going to have to prepare yourself for the worse if she does not like you.Now, to help you out with this girl (because you are quite a nice guy) I am going to suggest you that you tell her what your feelings are for her. Speaking up is the only way to get things done. How else are you going to know for sure? But don't overwhelm her with your plans of marrying her. That would not be good just for now. I wish you the best of luck (and I really do mean it!) because out of all the men in Yahoo! Answers, you seem to be the ideal man that a woman desires! I hope that you find your soul mate and that you are happy with her. Good luck!! :)
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